


Eavesdrop

by drinibini



Series: Cosmic Love (Kaidan Alenko and Natalie Shepard) [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Light Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-03-15 19:37:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3459341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drinibini/pseuds/drinibini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaidan Alenko is a broken man, but his life will be changed when he meets a young biotic named Natalie Shepard. Neither of them could know not just how important they will come to be in shaping the galaxy, but also how strong their bond is.</p><p>A story of growth, courage and loss, two people's extraordinary love will be put to the test in impossible circumstances.</p><p>"Let's let the stars watch, let them stare.<br/>Let the wind eavesdrop, I don't care.<br/>For all that we've got don't let go, just hold me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Innocent

**Author's Note:**

> I've played around a bit with dates. For example, clearly the establishment of Grissom Academy is way earlier in this than it is in canon. And although MShep is born in the correct year, FShep is four years younger.
> 
> Not sure how long this will be (I have a vague outline of a plan) or how often I can update (I am at uni) but I will try my hardest!
> 
> Hope y’all enjoy!
> 
> Songs: Eavesdrop by the Civil Wars, Innocent by Taylor Swift.

_“Who you are is not what you did- you’re still an innocent.”_

**-2172-**

 

  Kaidan was glad that he had managed to argue his way out of wearing a suit; he was hot enough in a t-shirt and jeans. He usually had problems regulating his temperature on stations, which was something he remembered from Jump Zero all too well, and was the precise reasoning he had used when his dad had tried to get him into a suit in the first place.

  _“It’ll make a good impression…” His father said, holding the clothes out to him like a sacred offering, a little too emphatic._

_“That isn’t the point of this, Dad.” Kaidan had replied, arms crossed, obstinate. “They’re supposed to be impressing me, not the other way ‘round. And anyway, I don’t care what the Alliance thinks of me.”_

_“You should.”_

  The room he had been given for his short stay at Grissom Academy was tiny, but at least he was alone. It had been too long since he had to share a room, and he particularly did not like the idea of being interrogated by some enthusiastic biotic kid about how “being an L2 must be awesome” or, less preferable, “what was BAaT like”. No, he never wanted to have to tell that story again. For four years Kaidan had lived in a haze, trying not to think about what had happened but unable to prevent the memories from seeping into his consciousness at night, when left alone only with his thoughts and his guilt. He was sick of feeling worthless. He was sick of seeing the flash of fear that his parents could not hide in their eyes when he got even a little angry. He hated the fact that his parents blamed themselves for everything that was _his_ fault. Yes, Kaidan wanted his life to change, but there was an overwhelming void where the answer of what he could do should have been.

  He was pulled from his thoughts by a knock on the door, and immediately went to answer it.

  “Kaidan Alenko?” A man in Alliance dress-blues asked. Kaidan nodded in acknowledgement. “David Anderson; it’s great to meet you.” The two men shook hands as Anderson continued to speak. “Thank you for coming to visit. I know that you don’t tend to associate yourself with the Alliance anymore…”

  “With good reason.” Kaidan interjected.

  “With good reason.” Anderson repeated sincerely. “But do know that we are very grateful to you. It is very important to everyone that a BAaT veteran see the Ascension Project for themselves.”

  “Well that’s why I’m here. No offense, but I want to make sure that the kids are safe… that what happened at Jump Zero doesn’t happen again.”

  “Believe me; no-one wants a repeat of that. Honestly, the whole thing was a mess.” Then Anderson smiled. “So, would you like to begin your tour?” Kaidan nodded once, then the two men started to walk through the station. Anderson made small talk, mostly about Kaidan’s parents, until they came to a large auditorium. In one far corner, a group of kids of varying ages held pieces of paper in front of them and listened to the teacher that stood in front of them, then all began singing. “This is the Assembly Hall. We hold meetings here like any other school; though, of course, there are specific ones for the students belonging to Ascension.”

  “So there are non-biotics here too?”

  “Yes, Ascension is just a small part of the Academy. The students aren’t segregated, but the biotics have some separate lessons to help hone their talents.”

  “It must be a heavy workload.” Kaidan pointed out.

  “Yes it is, but this is arguably the best Alliance school in the galaxy. You have to work hard to succeed. But they do get a lot of downtime, and there are plenty of extra-curricular activities. For example, that over there is the Academy choir.” Kaidan’s eyes followed where Anderson pointed to the group he had noticed before. The students all sang with varying degrees of blank faces, except for one girl in the front. Her red hair was pulled back into a ponytail, leaving the intense look of concentration on her face clear to see. Her brows were furrowed and rather than look at the paper like the others, she kept her gaze on the teacher conducting them. “Ah, speak of the devil, here is one of the non-biotic students.” Kaidan looked towards where Anderson was, and saw a lanky, dark-haired boy, probably in his late teens, rushing towards them. Trying to cover how out of breath he was, he stood before them and saluted Anderson.

  “Sorry I’m late, sir; there was a problem with one of the defence droid prototypes.”

  “What was the problem?”

  “One of the other students pranked it to shoot glitter. It was like a unicorn had thrown up all over the place.” Anderson chuckled.

  “Daniel, this is Kaidan Alenko. Alenko, this is Daniel Shepard. He volunteered to help me show you around. In truth, he knows the place a lot better than I do.”

  “You visit every time you get leave, Captain.” Daniel said sceptically.

  “And you live here, so you still know more than me.”

  “No-one knows more than you, Anderson.” The boy said with a huge grin.

  “Don’t be a kiss-ass, Shepard. It doesn’t suit you.”

  “So are you a tech specialist, then, Daniel?” Kaidan interrupted.

  “ _Yes_ , though I’m only really here because of my sister.”

  “Because of your sister?”

  “She’s a biotic. Had a rough time growing up, ‘cause people are scared by things they don’t understand, you know? And they make damn well sure to make your life a misery because of their fear. But it’s just me and her, you see, and I tried to protect her as best I could, but she needed people other than me telling her that she wasn’t a freak. So I camped out at the Alliance offices in Toronto until they would see me. Luckily Anderson was there at the time, or… I don’t want to think about what might have happened. We owe this man everything.”

  “Someone else would have seen you and come to the same conclusion I did, I’m sure. It just so happened that I was at the right place at the right time.” Anderson assured the boy, who pulled an unconvinced face before carrying on.

  “Then when she got a place here they offered me one too. So, here we are, in the best situation we’ve been in since our mom died. I’d even go as far as to say that the Alliance saved our lives.”

  “Well, it’s nice that you two didn’t have to be split up. It’s… hard growing up without your family near.” Kaidan said.

  “I can imagine. She’s over there, actually.” Daniel motioned towards the choir, and this time when he looked over, Kaidan’s gaze met that of the red-headed girl, her head tilted slightly to one side and eyes shining with curiosity, and he quickly looked back to his companions.

  “I’m sure they wouldn’t have been offered a place if they hadn’t seen potential in you too, Daniel. Don’t put yourself down.” Kaidan said.

  “He’s right.” Anderson agreed. Daniel shifted from one foot to the other, head bowed a little.

  “I… thank you.” He said before a sudden flash of blue streaked by, knocking Daniel off balance. “What the… Nata!” The red-haired girl then appeared next to her brother, her face guileless, but her eyes glinting with mischief.

  “I’m pretty sure that is not what your training is for, Nata.” Anderson chided her, unable to hide the tone of amusement from his voice.

  “I would like to point out that I just showed an excellent use of biotic control to only lightly tap him and not break every bone in his body.” She replied, face a facade of solemnity.

  “She does have a point, it _was_ very impressive.” Kaidan piped up, and was rewarded with a smile of wonderment from her, as bright as it was hesitant.

  “You should still apologise.” Anderson prompted, and she raised her big eyes to her brother. Anderson caught Kaidan’s eyes and rolled his dramatically, smiling.

  “Sorry, Danny.”

  “I’ll just get you back later, _Natter_.”

  “Don’t call me that.” Anderson then coughed and gesticulated towards Kaidan. “Oh! Natalie Shepard.” She said to him with a little wave. She looked down while she was speaking to him, but her eyes darted up to make eye contact as soon as she had finished, searching his face for a reaction. It was an interesting habit, and it occurred to him that she probably didn’t even realise that she was doing it.

  “Kaidan Alenko.”

  “I can tell that you’re a biotic, but you’re too old to be a student.” She stated, with one eyebrow slightly raised and eyes narrowed as she speculated.

  “Well observed.” Kaidan replied with a smile.

  “So are you the one here to investigate us?” 

  “Nata..!” Daniel chided her. She looked at everyone, clearly trying to piece together what she had done wrong by their reactions.

  “What?”

  “It’s alright.” Kaidan said to Daniel, actually finding it very refreshing to talk to someone who was upfront about things and didn’t tiptoe around him. “Not really investigate, just see how things are run around here.”

  “So were you trained at BAaT?” Kaidan gritted his teeth.

  “Yes.”

  “But you aren’t Alliance?”

  “No.” Kaidan waited for more questions, but Nata just nodded, the intense look on her face betraying the cogs spinning in her head.

  “Well we really should carry on…” Anderson ventured.

  “Can I come?” The girl asked him.

  “I don’t think so…”

  “I won’t say a word, I promise!”

  “Nata…”

  “I don’t mind. I mean, she is a biotic, and isn’t that why I’m here?” Kaidan added, and tried not to look back when Nata turned big eyes to him.

  “Of course, forgive me for not thinking…”

  “No problem.” He said with a shrug.

  They walked around more of the campus, Anderson and Daniel ahead, with him and Nata a few steps behind. The Academy looked to him much like any other Alliance station that he had seen. Daniel explained both school life and free time; they were encouraged to come to the staff with any problems they may have, and contact with family was not only allowed, but they could even visit as long as it didn’t disrupt their studies. He was told that, of course, it was tough to be away from home for extended periods of time, but that didn’t mean that anyone didn’t appreciate and enjoy their time at the Academy. Furthermore there was no military-style training, which comforted Kaidan.

  “Much to Daniel’s annoyance.” Anderson remarked with a smile.

  “I have to wait until my birthday this year to sign up.” Daniel explained. “Although I’m not sure about Nata; four years will be a long time apart.” Beside him a ripple of blue passed over Nata, and he looked over to see a frown line between her furrowed brows.

  In the back of his mind, all Kaidan could think about was how hot it was. That and the bright lights were starting to set off one of his migraines. He mentally cursed, and prayed that he could make it until the end of the tour. It was getting hard to concentrate through the pain, but he gritted his teeth and carried on. He was also having to ignore the increasing amounts of tilted-headed looks of concern from Nata.

  After a while, Nata hop-stepped so that she stood in front of him, and he had to stop walking, as the other two carried on, not having noticed. Another frown between her eyebrows, she raised her hand above her head and a semi-sphere biotic barrier surrounded them. The thought occurred to him that she really was a prodigy to have such control at such a young age.

  “Are you alright?” She asked him, genuine concern written on her face and plain in her voice. It was touching that she cared so much about a complete stranger.

  “I’m fine.” He said, but even he was unconvinced when he heard himself.

  “It’s okay; they can’t hear you.” She said motioning towards where the others were.

  “I get migraines, it’s fine.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s from the implant.”

  “ _Oh.”_ She said, the tone of her voice telling that she understood what that implicated. “Do you want to go to your room and rest?”

  “No, really…” He shut his mouth when he saw how unimpressed she looked by his bravado.

  “You really don’t look well.”

  “Wow, thanks…” He said with laugh, then winced, which apparently was all she needed to decide to take control of the situation. She put down the barrier, and Kaidan didn’t realise that it had been dimming the lights until he was no longer being protected by it, and recoiled in pain.

  “Nata, what the hell…” Daniel started, but she interrupted with a tone in her voice that said ‘don’t fuck with me’.

  “Mr. Alenko’s not feeling well, and I’m taking him back to his room.” Being referred to as ‘Mr. Alenko’ sounded discordant to his ears. She then turned to Anderson, her voice softening. “Which room is he in?”

  “Alpha.” He replied looking from Nata to Kaidan. Then a suspiciously glittery student appeared, running towards Daniel. As Nata took the opportunity to grab his wrist and lead him away, Kaidan heard the student start rambling about the robot-prankster striking again.

  It didn’t take long for them to reach the hallway he vaguely recognised as containing his room. Ahead of him, red ponytail swinging, she opened and held his door open for him, then shut it behind him when he entered. She motioned towards the bed as she moved to a panel by the window. As he sat so that his back was propped up by the headboard, he watched her work in the near-darkness, as if she intuitively knew that the light was bothering him. She closed the shutters of the window, and he soon heard the _whoosh_ of what he took to be the air conditioning turning on. She then went to the mini fridge that sat in the corner, and returned to him with a bottle of water.

  “Are you nauseous?” She asked as he took the bottle from her and took a sip. He shook his head, and he saw her silhouette nod. “Okay, that’s good…”

  “How did you know I was hot?” He asked her as his eyes focussed in the low light, so that he could actually see her face.

  “Your arm is burning hot.” She said, and then he remembered her grabbing his wrist.

  “Oh, sorry.”

  “What? You’re apologising for running a fever?” She laughed, then looked at him with sombre, kind eyes. “Is there any other way I can help you?”

  “I suppose you could tell me what life here is like for you here? I’ve only heard from non-biotics so far.”

  “Won’t that bother your migraine?”

  “Actually sound takes my mind off it. Well, other than high-pitched noises.” He replied with a slight smile.

  “Alright then, and I promise to keep my voice low.” She said with a laugh, then sat down at the end of the bed. “Though I don’t know what I can tell you that anyone else can’t.”

  “All I have heard is a lot of people who do not know what it is like, telling me that it’s safe and that training is not too tough and that you all love it, without hearing from an actual biotic student.” She looked at him for a moment before speaking.

  “You are a very altruistic person, Mr. Alenko.”

  “It’s Kaidan, please. And… I have selfish reasons for it, believe me.”

  “I know.” She said quietly. “There are a lot of rumours about our biotic program predecessors, far too many for all of them to be wrong. So I can guess that you want to know that what happened to you… wasn’t for nothing. I don’t know if it makes me naïve, but I don’t think that is purely why you are interested.”

  “It’s not naïve to want to see the best in people. But I think you will be disappointed more often than not.”

  “But not this time.” Nata replied with a knowing smile. Kaidan responded with a short laugh, then put a hand up to his head, kneading the spot where the pain was, as if it could relieve it. “In answer to your queries… we all feel very lucky to have this opportunity. Can you imagine what it would be like growing up with our powers with no hope of control? We’d be hated and feared even more than we already are. And the Academy is good to us, I truly mean it. For the first time in our lives, we can just be… kids.” Kaidan nodded slowly, collecting his thoughts. Although he had only just met this girl, he trusted her to be honest; in truth, she was probably a bit too honest for her own good.

  “Thank you.”

  “No, Kaidan; thank _you._ ”

  “What for?” Nata sighed, looking like she was trying to find the right words.

  “Look, when I had the surgery to put my implant in, I was more terrified than I had ever been, because I had heard the horror stories about what happened to… what happened to L2s.” She looked up at him, then back down again. “But of course, everything went fine with my L3 implant. And I knew that the reason why I was so lucky, was because of the people who came before me. People like you. I know it can’t make up for it but… I guess what I want to say is that I am sorry for your pain; for your sacrifice. But I also thank you for them, or I… I have no idea what my life would be like.”

  “Oh… well… I appreciate your gratitude.” He replied with a smile. They were quiet for a moment, which only increased the throbbing in his head. “You know… I noticed how you reacted when Daniel was talking about joining up. Are you upset about your brother leaving?” He asked her softly.

  “No.” She said quickly, shaking her head. “I don’t want him to hold himself back because of me. For as long as I can remember, my brother has dreamed of joining up, counting down the days until his eighteenth birthday. The thought of him putting it off for my sake…” She shook her head again.

  “Are you going to join up when you’re old enough?” Kaidan asked. She shrugged, then sighed.

  “Probably. I mean, where else is there for us?” Nata said, clearly meaning biotics in general but it still struck Kaidan as if she had been talking about him. “And they’ve been good to me and Danny. I want to give something back, you know? There’s too much bad in this world to not want to put something good into it.” She paused, then giggled. “Plus… space! We were born at the perfect time to explore the galaxy, a chance that our ancestors would have given anything for.”

  “All very good points, but you still sound hesitant?”

  “I just don’t think I’d make a very good soldier. Sure, I’m good with my biotics, but…”

  “I understand.” He interrupted. Then a shiver came over him, and he realised that he was actually cold.

  “I’ll leave you be now to get some rest.” She said to him before standing and going towards the door.

  “Thank you for your help, Nata.” He said. She turned and smiled at him.

  “It was no trouble.” She replied, then paused for a moment, chewing her lip as she frowned. “I really hope you got the answers you were looking for.”

  “I think I did.” Kaidan said thoughtfully. Then she waved to him, and left.

  Kaidan tried not to think too much as he tried to go to sleep, but he couldn’t stop his brain from voicing the conclusion that it had subconsciously come to that if the Alliance and its Ascension Project had helped create someone like Nata, then it had to be good. And that if the mistakes that had been made had helped it come to its current destination, then maybe he could be learn to forgive not just the Alliance, but himself.

  It was the first night he hadn’t thought about Vyrnnus or Rahna in four years.

 

_“Who you are is not what you did- you’re still an innocent.”_


	2. Enchanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five years later, Kaidan and Nata Shepard meet again at a party held in honour of her brother after he receives the Star of Terra after the events of the Skyllian Blitz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait- it took me a lot longer to write than I had anticipated!
> 
> Just a quick note to say that I don't entirely understand the whole rank and hierarchy systems with the military, so I'm just keeping it to a minimum.
> 
> Hope you guys like it!

_“This night is sparkling, don't you let it go. I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home. I'll spend forever wondering if you knew, I was enchanted to meet you.”_

**-2177-**

 

  He may have become more accustomed to being away for long periods of time, having joined the Alliance Military four years ago, but nothing quite beat the feeling Kaidan got when he was home. He thought about this, relishing the warm feeling in his chest, because even though he wasn’t currently _at_ home, he was with his parents, which was far more meaningful than any physical building. They sat beside him in the auditorium of the Alliance base in Vancouver, talking quietly as they waited for the ceremony to begin. He didn’t know who was receiving the Star of Terra, just that his dad had been invited, and he got to tag along.

  Kaidan did, however, know why the soldier was receiving the award. It was impossible to forget the footage on the news, of scores of batarian ships being blown out of the sky, unable to attack the humans on the ground because of a huge biotic barrier that covered the area, as the Alliance soldiers on the ground defended from the batarians that had made it to land. By the time Alliance reinforcements had arrived, the enemy retreated with their tails between their legs. But the Alliance would not forget.

  Finally the Alliance officials ascended the stairs to the stage, and the room hushed. Despite it being five years since he had seen him, Kaidan still recognised one of the officials as Captain Anderson. He stood at the podium, waiting for everyone to be truly silent until he started speaking, and to his left sat someone Kaidan also recognised. The young soldier sat bolt upright, excitement and pride radiating from him even with his straight face. Though that face had matured and he had filled out a little, Kaidan still knew that it was Daniel Shepard, the boy so desperate to become a soldier five years ago. It seemed he had gotten his wish. Kaidan wondered what Daniel’s sister was doing nowadays, as he often did.

  “Thank you all for coming. We are here to honour and congratulate a soldier unlike any other, a celebration made even greater by the fact that this could just as easily be a eulogy. When I first met Daniel Shepard, I knew that he had a brave and good spirit, even though he wasn’t much more than a boy then. When he risked his own life to protect the people of Elysium, he proved me right. I have been granted the greatest honour by the Systems Alliance, which is to present Lieutenant Daniel Shepard with the Star of Terra, for his courageous and distinguished service for humankind.” Anderson motioned toward Daniel, and the room filled with applause as he stood up. Anderson and the young man saluted each other, then shook hands as the older man passed the award over. Now it was Daniel’s turn at the podium.

  “The honour is entirely mine, I assure you, sir.” The crowd laughed as the young man winked at Anderson, and he continued to speak once the room had quietened again. “I was far from alone on Elysium, but _luck_ put me in a position to put my skills to good use, fight back and even, somehow, make it out alive. I would like to accept this on behalf of all of the people on Elysium, both military and civilian, who stared the enemy down with their unwavering courage, even if they couldn’t afford to be as pig-headed and reckless as I was.” He managed to wrangle another laugh from the crowd. “Thank you all for your support and your kind words, and for this.” He raised the award slightly to the crowd before he returned to his seat. Then Anderson returned to the podium.

  “It’s a good thing for all of you that neither of us are ones for long speeches.” He said, and the crowd laughed again. “You are all invited for refreshments and conversation in the Maple Rooms now. Thank you for coming.” Everyone applauded as those on stage made their exit, then they started to file out themselves.

***

  The lights were bright enough to see everyone clearly, but dark enough to create a feel of ambience, as if lit by candles. It was an aesthetic unique to Earth, from the piano music to the people sipping wine and champagne from old-fashioned glasses. No matter how many centuries passed and technology improved, some things humans never changed. He looked upon the scene with sentimentality, though in practice rock music and a bottle of beer was more to his tastes when it came to parties. But he didn’t make his excuses and leave because he knew that his parents were enjoying it, and he didn’t want to sour the evening by being anti-social. So Kaidan wandered around the set of rooms set aside for the party, smiling when someone made eye contact, and making polite conversation when required. God, he hated small-talk.

  After a while, he looked over to where his parents had been previously standing, and found the space empty. He tried to look around without looking like he wasn’t interested in the conversation going on around him (which he wasn’t), and as his eyes searched, he caught a flash of a familiar shade of red hair, and did a double take. She was stood in a group with her brother, laughing with her head thrown back at something someone had said. He caught the echoes of her laughter from where he was, and stared, mesmerised. It was like she shone, she was so bright and confident and completely unlike she was when he had met her. Almost as if she knew what he was thinking, as soon as the attention was no longer on her, her face fell and anxiety was clear on her face, from her slightly down-turned mouth to the frown line between her wide eyes. Kaidan watched her look around apprehensively until she suddenly turned her attention to him and their eyes locked. 

  “Are you alright, Alenko? You seem distracted.” One of his companions said, pulling his attention away from her, as much as he was loathed to do so.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I just noticed someone I know. Please excuse me.” He said, moving away and towards her, no longer caring about what other people thought of him. By the time he had crossed the room, the crowd around her had dispersed and she was alone, looking down. When he stood in front of her she looked up, smiling, with her head tilted slightly.

  “Kaidan Alenko.” Nata stated before he could say anything.

  “You remember me?” He replied, returning the smile.

  “Of course I do. Five years, and you haven’t changed a bit.” She said, her eyes assessing him, moving from his head to his feet, and then back up again in rapid time.

  “You certainly have.” He said, taking in the sight of her fully. Her hair was down, surrounding her head and shoulders with red waves like a fiery halo, and she wore a red strapless dress made of a floaty material that he couldn’t name, tight to the waist where it then began to flow down to the ground. God, she was stunning.

  “Yeah, growing up will do that to you.” Nata replied with a laugh, running a hand through her hair. “Not too much though, I hope.”

  “Just grown up, don’t worry.” He answered.

  “How has life been treating you, Kaidan?” She asked, seeming genuinely interested.

  “Well I decided to join the military not long after I visited Grissom. Actually… you really helped me decide to take that step.”

  “Me?”

  “Yeah, everything you said really made sense to me, helped me work out my ‘purpose’. So, thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, I guess. I didn’t think that you would even remember our conversation, let alone care about it.”

  “Well, I did.” She nodded, looking to the side, clearly thinking about something deeply. “Daniel certainly has been busy, but what about you? What are you up to now?” She looked back up at him and smiled.

  “I was able to talk him into joining up on his birthday. He was reluctant to leave me but… he never said anything, but I think he appreciated it.”

  “Of course, you put his needs before your own even at the age you were.” She laughed a short, nervous sounding laugh, then carried on.

  “So… yeah, he went off to get trained, and I stayed at the Academy, so we didn’t get to see a lot of each other. Then on graduation day, I got my accreditation, threw the proverbial cap, then headed straight for the Alliance base at Elysium to join up. Just like that, after years of indecision. Exploring the cosmos, fighting for our place in the galaxy… I decided that it was what I wanted after all.” She shrugged.

  “So it turns out that we’re both Alliance soldiers now, huh?”

  “Yeah, funny how things play out. So why are you here? Not that I’m complaining...”

  “I’ve got leave so I came home to visit my parents, and Dad had been invited to the ceremony, so he brought me and Mom along.”

  “That’s so sweet!” She grinned. “Well… I’m glad you’re here.”

  “So am I, now.” He said. She looked up at him with hopeful eyes, then back down again as a blush crept over her face. “So what was training like for you?”

  “Hard work, but fulfilling. I’ve made some really good friends, honed my biotic skills. And I like to think I’ve done a bit to help, already.”

  “So did you train in Elysium?” He asked.

  “Yes. This is the first time I’ve left since I joined up. It’s also my first time on Earth in almost eight years… crazy how time passes.”

  “Welcome back!” He said, patting her on the shoulder. She looked at where he had touched her for a moment, and he felt like the biggest socially inept idiot that ever lived, and embarrassed to boot.

  “Uh, thanks.” She said. Kaidan coughed, trying to think of something else to say.

  “So you were on Elysium during the Blitz?”

  “Oh, yes; it was my first hostile action. We were very lucky that Daniel was there, or God knows what would have happened to us. He was so brave, and I am so proud of him.” She spoke over emphatically, flashing the bright smile that she had used when she had been speaking to her group earlier; rehearsed, but too distracting to make you want to ask questions. But Kaidan had noticed, and was starting to put the pieces together in his mind.

  “It’s funny, but I could have sworn that when they were showing the vids of the attack, that there was a large biotic field protecting the ground team.”

  “Oh?” She asked, eyes wide.

  “I remember that Daniel isn’t a biotic...” She looked down.

  “Kaidan, don’t…”

  “Is the right Shepard getting the credit, Nata?” She looked around, then took a step closer to Kaidan so that she could quieten her voice but still be heard by him.

  “Look, yes I used my biotics to help, but Daniel was the offense. He deserves the award, and the prestige that goes with it. Really, I did no more than a high-tech droid could do.”

  “Except that you are a person, and you risked your life helping those people and are getting absolutely no credit for it!”

  “It’s how _I_ wanted it. Come on, I would have a nervous breakdown if I was thrust into the limelight; I’m not the sort of person who could cope with that sort of attention. And anyway, humanity isn’t ready for a biotic hero, you more than anyone should know that.”

  “That doesn’t make it right, or fair to you.”

  “Kaidan, all I care about is that I was a part of something good. Everything else, I don’t need. I am so proud of my brother, and I owe him so much. Keeping to the shadows so that he doesn’t have to share his well-earned recognition; that’s fine by me. All the people that matter know the ‘truth’. Please promise that you won’t tell anyone.” She looked up at him, her face pleading along with her words.

  “I would never tell anyone something you didn’t want me to, Nata; your… secret is safe with me. And you should know that I have the utmost respect and… admiration for you.”

  “Thank you, Kaidan. You… you have no idea how much that means to me.”

  “Well, I mean it.” He said quietly. In the lull in their conversation, he looked around the room, then noticed his parents coming towards them. “Shit…” He muttered, rubbing his forehead instinctively. Instantly Nata put a hand on his arm.

  “Are you okay, is it your head?” She asked, her concern touching. He shook his head.

  “Oh no, it’s not that, it’s just… my parents are headed over here.”

  “Ah.” She said, then took a step backwards, just before his mom and dad came into view, arms linked.

  “Here you are, son. We lost you for a while there.” His father said, then turned to Nata. “I don’t believe we’ve met; I’m Viktor Alenko, and this is my wife…”

  “Mei.” His mother added with a kind smile, looking from Nata to Kaidan with unspoken curiosity.

  “Natalie Shepard; it’s a pleasure to meet you both.” She said sincerely.

  “I assume you’re Daniel Shepard’s… younger sister?” Viktor asked her.

  “I do have that honour, yes, sir.”

  “How do you know Kaidan?” Mei asked.

  “Oh, I was a part of the Ascension Project at Grissom Academy, and I was lucky enough to give Kaidan a tour when he visited us.” Nata quickly shot Kaidan a panicked look, as if asking if what she was saying was okay. He found it absolutely adorable, especially as she was more than capable of making a good impression for herself; she had certainly enchanted him, twice now. But… was she actually worried about what his parents thought of her? Why?

  “Oh so you’re a biotic, too? What do you do now?” Kaidan’s father interjected.

  “I’m a soldier, sir.”

  “Following in your brother’s footsteps, then! Are you still in training?”

  “Actually I just finished. I’m being sent out to my first mission tomorrow.”

  “And so young, too; how old are you?” His mother asked.

  “Nineteen, ma’am.”

  “Nineteen! Forgive me, Natalie, it’s hard for us old folks to see young men and women sent to fight.”

  “Mom…” Kaidan said quietly.

  “Oh, don’t worry, please. It’s an honour, really. My brother and I owe so much to the Alliance, and it feels good to give something back.”

  “And I’m sure you won’t have been given anything too dangerous for your first mission. Where are you going; if you’re allowed to say, that is?” Viktor said.

  “A friend and I volunteered to be biotic back-up for a squad headed for Akuze.”

  “Oh yes, I’d heard that we’d lost contact with the pioneers there. Maybe they couldn’t set up communication for some reason.”

  “That’s what our superiors are saying, so we’re being sent to help them and bring supplies.”

  “I wish you all the best of luck for that.” Viktor then turned to his son. “Kaidan, we were thinking of heading home.”

  “Oh. Sure, I’ll meet you by the car. Just give me a sec, okay?” He replied, and his dad nodded.

  “It was lovely to meet you, Natalie.” Mei said to the young woman.

  “Oh, you too! And have a safe journey home.” Mei and Viktor smiled kindly at the girl.

  “Thank you, dear.” Kaidan’s mother said.

  “All the best, soldier.” His father said, saluting.

  “Thank you, sir.” She replied, returning the salute. Finally his parents left them alone, and he watched Nata visibly relax.

  “I am so sorry about that…” Kaidan started.

  “No, it’s fine! They seem really lovely.” She interrupted, smiling. Then her face turned sad, almost wistful “You’re very lucky.”

  “I know.” He said quietly. “I would love to stay and catch up some more, truly, but I have to go.”

  “That’s fine, I understand. I’ll go find Daniel or Anderson to latch on to.” She said with a laugh.

  “I’m really glad I got to meet you again.” He said, trying to convey how much he meant it.

  “Me too.” She said quietly, looking up at him with a sad smile. She thought for a moment, then smiled a bit brighter. “I’m sure we’ll meet again, Kaidan. It’s a small galaxy and anyway, fate has had us meet twice now. What’s a third?” Nata said with a laugh, but a shimmer of blue passed over her, indicating that she perhaps wasn’t as convinced as she tried to make out. He wondered when she was ever going to be able to control that, and a small part of him hoped that she never would.

  “Alright, I’ll trust in your confidence in fate, then. Just… stay safe; I’d hate for something get in the way of that destiny of ours.”

  “Cross my heart.” She said with a grin, making the motion over the left side of her chest. “See you around, Kaidan.”

  “See you around, Nata.” He replied before turning and leaving. When he got to the exit, he turned around to catch a glimpse of her one last time. She had clearly been watching his retreat, because their eyes met and held, until he broke it and left.

***

  Two days later, a few hours before he was supposed to report back for duty, he was sitting in his parents’ kitchen. He was half listening to the news, half lost in thought as he drank his coffee, until recognition of a name made his consciousness turn on.

  “What was that about Akuze?” He asked. His mother picked up the remote to rewind the report.

  “ _Asari and Salarian scientist have analysed the small amount of communication from the Alliance Marines sent to the planet Akuze, and have said that they think that the soldiers were attacked by lifeforms known as thresher maws. It is unknown at this time if there are any survivors.”_

  Kaidan sat dumbstruck, and his mother muted the program.

  “Your friend was there, wasn’t she?” Mei asked quietly, and he managed to nod a response. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Are you going to be okay?” He tried to speak but nothing came out, so he coughed and tried again.

  “Yeah, Mom. Don’t worry about me.”

  “You’re so brave, Kaidan. I love you so much.” She said as she put a hand on his shoulder and kissed his forehead.

  “Thanks…”

  “She was a wonderful girl. I don’t want to imagine what her brother is going through.”

  “Mom, I’m gonna head to base.”

  “So soon?”

  “I’d rather be early than risk being late.” He said, trying to rustle up a smile for her.

  “Alright, I’ll call you a cab.” She said, cheery tone hiding her disappointment. Kaidan felt bad, but he needed to get out of there. He needed to get back to routine and hard labour so that he could work himself to exhaustion every night and not have time to think about _her_. God, surely she was too young, too _good_ to die. _You promised; cross your heart._

_***_

  A week passed, and one night Kaidan lay in his bunk, nursing a headache and trying to sleep. One of the others was listening to the news, and rather than ask him to turn it off, he tried to concentrate on something else instead.

  “Shepard? Isn’t that the guy who fought the batarians on Elysium?” Another soldier asked.

  “What about him?” Kaidan replied, feeling a knot in his stomach at the name.

  “You know that shit on Akuze? Turns out someone made it out alive.”

  “ _What?_ ”

  “Yeah it just said, ‘Corporal Shepard, the only marine to survive the attack on the colony of Akuze, is refusing all interviews’, blah blah blah. You alright, Alenko? If your head is still bothering you, I can turn it off.”

  “No… that’s alright.” _Daniel is a Lieutenant. That must mean…_

  Relief flooded through him like a burst dam of emotion, so much so that he rolled over, pushed his face into his pillow, and cried, in his head calling out a silent, _thank you_ , to whatever may be listening.

 

_“This night is sparkling, don't you let it go. I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home. I'll spend forever wondering if you knew, I was enchanted to meet you.”_


	3. Elastic Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she escapes an attack on Akuze, Nata Shepard finds it hard to find the will to survive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days..? What madness is this!?
> 
> Anyway, I hope this chapter is okay- it was really fun to write... in a painful, heart-wrenching sort of way.
> 
> May have to wait a while for the next chapter as I have a whole bunch of coursework to do, but I will try my best to get something up asap.
> 
> Thanks for reading, as always! :)

_“And I want it, I want my life so bad, I’m doing everything I can... But you won’t see me fall apart, ‘cause I’ve got an elastic heart.”_

 

  It was supposed to be an easy mission. Find the pioneer team on Akuze, help them or bury them; Nata’s squad was sure that they were prepared for any outcome. Until they actually showed up, that is, and there were neither any live people, nor were there bodies. It was as if they had simply vanished. Which of course, was impossible; and didn’t make for an easy night’s sleep for anyone that night. But insomnia couldn’t save them from what happened.

  _“I don’t like this, Nata.” Tania had whispered to her as they prepared to settle down for the night. Even though it was a tropical planet, and the temperature was warm, she felt a chill in the air and a feeling of impending trouble._

_“I know. But we’ll continue the search in the morning, and hopefully we’ll find some survivors.” She hugged her friend. “It’ll be alright.”_

_“I hope so. It’s going to be a long night…”_

_“Hey, how about I take the first watch, and you try to get some sleep? Then the night will pass faster.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Yep. I need you at your best, soldier!” Nata said, trying to mimic the tone of voice that all of their superiors seemed to have. She succeeded in making Tania laugh, and she pushed Nata playfully._

_“Idiot.” She said, and Nata was glad to see a smile on her face for the first time since they had landed on the planet. Nata turned away to sort out her pack, and though about getting into armour, but when she looked around, everyone else was in fatigues so he decided against it. She turned back when Tania spoke again. “Nata… Thank you. You’re a good friend.”_

_“Shut up.” She replied with a laugh._

_“You are not good at taking compliments, though. What ever will you do when_ Kaidan _tells you how_ beautiful _and_ brilliant _and…”_

_“Tania!” Nata interrupted her friend with a laugh, and hoped that her friend couldn’t see the blush spreading over her face._

_“But it’s_ true. _I bet he_ likes _you…”_

_“I’m just a kid to him, I’m sure.”_

_“Not from what you’ve told me.”_

_“Tania, it’s not nice to give a person false hope.”_

_“Bah!” Tania scoffed. “You’ll see, I bet.” Nata replied very maturely by sticking her tongue out. “Wake me up when you want to switch.”_

_“G’night, Tan.”_

_“Night, lover-girl.” Nata rolled her eyes with a laugh. She looked around and saw most people curl up to try to sleep, with just a few of them staying up to keep watch. As much as the pioneers had gone missing, the survey team that had come here to make sure that this was a safe planet for colonisation had reported no hostile fauna, so there was no reason to be too cautious. Nata looked up at the sky and smiled, fascinated as she always was by a new set of bright stars to be under. She wondered if Daniel ever stopped and looked up, and marvelled at how amazing the galaxy was. She wondered if Kaidan did the same…_

_Had_ these _stars been ordered into constellations? Did they have long-lost names given to them by some ancient civilisation of aliens? She spent the next few hours trying to see if any jumped out at her as a comprehensive shape, and naming them herself._

_“Hey.” She was pulled from her thoughts and looked up to see a man standing in front of her. “Here.” He said holding a flask out to her._

_“Thanks.” Nata said with a smile, taking it from him and taking a sip. It didn’t taste great, but it was definitely water, and she was so thirsty that she didn’t care and drank the whole thing in one go._

_“I’m Toombs.”_

_“Shepard.” She replied._

_“Oh, like that hero from Elysium?”_

_“That’s my brother.” She told him._

_“How did you come to be a part of this clusterfuck, then?”_

_“Believe it or not, I volunteered.”_

_“Ha!”_

_“I know, right.”_

_“Well you won’t get any medals here, I can tell you that.”_

_“Suits me just fine.” Nata said. “I…” She stopped herself when she heard a noise from the forest to her right, and whipped her head around, searching for a source of the noise. “Did you hear that?” She asked in a low voice._

_“Yeah. Probably just nothing. Everyone’s so skittish…”_

_“Shhh…” She hushed him, springing up to her feet. The noise, somewhere between a rustling and a burrowing, happened again. “I’m gonna check it out.” She whispered._

_“Alright, but don’t you want your gun..?”_

_“I’m a biotic. If there is something there, I don’t want to attract more with gunshots.”_

_“Sure.” He said, trying to sound unfazed but not quite managing it. As she tiptoed toward where the noise came from, he was not far behind her. “What do you think it is?”_

_“What makes you think I know?” She spat, taking out her fear on him. “Hello?” She called out, taking another step closer. Suddenly there were shouts from the camp and the sound of gunfire._

_“What the fuck is that!?” Toombs exclaimed, the sound of his voice telling her that he had turned to look at the camp. She didn’t see it happen or what had caused it, but when she turned to see what was being shot at, she saw a massive hole in the ground where Tania and five others had been sleeping. Her hands flew up to her face and she took a step towards the scene, but was stopped by Toombs. “Get the fuck out of here, Shepard!”_

_“But…”_

_“Run!” He said pushing her towards the forest. She did as he instructed, running until she came to a climbable tree. When she got to the top, she looked back to the camp, and a horrified noise somewhere between a gasp and a sob tore itself from her throat. A huge limbless creature burst from the ground, taking out the marines in multiples at a time as they tried to shoot it down. Instead they died screaming._

_Nata cursed herself for not taking her gun, and threw biotics at the monster. No matter how many times she hit it, it was too focussed on its hunt to even falter. Realising that all she could do was try to run away, Nata climbed down from the tree, but lost her footing and fell three feet to the ground. For a second she forgot everything but the fact that she couldn’t breathe, but as she gasped in a breath she remembered the danger she was in, and ran further into the forest. She, miracle of all miracles, found a rock face with a high cave carved out of it, and decided to take the chance that she would be safe in the rocks. She climbed again, up a tree that leaned over the hollow. She hung from the closest branch, but it was a far drop to the rock. She took a deep breath, readying herself for the pain, and let go. If the first drop had been painful, this was pure agony as her body crumpled on the sharp rock. She half crawled, half pulled herself deeper into the cave. She had stayed in that little cave for two days, curled up in a ball and truly petrified with fear and grief._

 Nata reflected on what had happened the night before, as she watched the sky slowly lighten from inky blue-black to a lighter shade of blue. Some part of her instinctively knew that the monster would be searching for her, like she was the dessert to its buffet. She finally felt brave enough to take stock of her injuries, when before she had taken the approach that if she ignored them, they didn’t really exist. There were multiple cuts on her legs, but they were only minor, and a deeper cut on her forehead that she must’ve gotten when she fell onto the rocks (she vaguely remembered hitting her head if she thought about it really hard). Her left arm was screaming with pain and it didn’t feel like it was sitting quite right in the shoulder socket, but the fact that she could move it she took to be a good sign, even if it was agony.

  She had some decisions to make. Did she stay and hope someone found her, or did she try to make it back to the landing pad, risking disturbing the creature? A part of her really didn’t care anymore; if she died, she wouldn’t be in pain anymore and she certainly wouldn’t have to deal with any aftermath. Her best friend was dead, everyone else was surely dead; shouldn’t she simply join them? Let them say that in the massacre at Akuze, not one human life was saved. Let her name go with a list of fifty others; no more important than any other. In the darkness, it was easy to let herself come to terms with dying. So, stay and die hiding, or leave and die fighting?

  But as the dawn broke across the horizon, everything was put into a new perspective. The oranges, reds and pinks of the sky filled her eyes with an incredible kaleidoscope of _hope._ Tears rolled down her cheeks as she gazed at the sunrise, unable to tear her eyes away even as the sun got brighter. _Were you really going to give up?_ The other, braver part of her brain woke with the sun and chastised her. _Were you going to leave Daniel alone? Were you going to repay your brother’s love and sacrifice by dying? What about Anderson, who has so much faith in you? You’re Natalie Shepard, a biotic prodigy, a human soldier, who vowed to serve the Alliance with all you could. And you promised a good man that you would stay safe. You want to see him again, don’t you?_ God, did she want to see him again.

  Nata came to the realisation that she hadn’t asked for much. Even after her mother died and before going to the Academy, when the life ahead of her looked truly awful, she didn’t ask for anything different, just trusted that it would be. There was only one thing, one person, that she had ever truly wanted and, really, there was no chance that was going to happen. Hiding in a cave on that godforsaken planet, trying not to get eaten by carnivorous alien worms, Nata realised that she _wanted to live_. So she paid in all of her goodwill tokens with whatever celestial thing decided a person’s fate, and begged for her goddamned life.

  _Good, now get up._ She rose onto her unsteady legs and stretched, immediately regretting it as her left arm shouted at her. _You are Natalie fucking Shepard; you made it through when everyone treated you like shit because they were scared of your biotics. You even got through your mother dying. You faced the batarians on Elysium without faltering. Like fuck are you going to die so far away from the people you love, because of a jumped-up fucking WORM._

  So she left the place that had sheltered her for two days, ungracefully sliding down the rock face to the ground. As soon as her feet touched the earth, her whole body tensed, as if the monster would appear at the mere whisper of her touch on its planet. But it didn’t, though she wasn’t sure if that made her feel more or less confident. Her unease wasn’t helped by the fact that she knew that she had to go back to the scene of the attack in order to get to the landing pad, which was her best chance at rescue.

  It wasn’t a long walk back to the camp, and soon she broke the trees and was at the rocky expanse that they had chosen few days before. But now it was total carnage. Objects were flung all over the place, and the ground was perforated with massive holes. Nata crept closer to what looked like bodies, but didn’t get too close as they had been corroded by some sort of acid. That must’ve been what the creature was spitting at them. She shuddered at the thought, and had to swallow down the bile that rose to her throat, shaking her head to rid it of the horrible thoughts that threatened to paralyse her again. No, all she could do for her comrades now was survive, and ensure that their deaths weren’t pointless.

  She searched around the camp for a radio or comm, but all of them were useless. Neither could she find a weapon that hadn’t been smashed. But fate smiled on her when she found a flare gun, which she hope she could use to signal a ship. When she was finished her search, Nata stood in the middle of the camp, and took off her dog tags. She held them out dangling in front of her as she looked around, committing the image to memory. It would be something to fuel her; she was alive, and they were not, and she had to do something with that life.

  “I will remember you.” She called out, hoping that they somehow heard. Then she sighed and whispered, “Good-bye, Tania.” And with that she dropped the tags onto the ground, took a deep breath and pressed on with an ache in her chest, feeling like she had aged twenty years in just a few days.

  She didn’t recall the walk being this long before, but then again she had been with Tania, so the time had passed quickly as they talked. Nata tried not to dwell on the memory too much, which was made easier by the fact that she was thirstier than she ever had been, so that was what occupied most of her thinking power. When she started tripping with every step, she conceded that she may need to take a break. She sat on a rock as she tried to control her breathing, holding her head in one hand. She knew that if she rested too long, she wouldn’t be able to make herself continue, so she hopped back onto her feet and took a few more steps. That was when the monster came back.

  In front of her the ground exploded, showering her with sand and rocks of dirt, and she instinctively took a step backwards. The creature screamed at her, and she knew that she had to act first. She took the flare gun from her belt and shot it up into the air, hoping to distract the monster long enough to gain some ground, and sprinted towards the direction of the landing pad. But it wasn’t enough; she had to dodge a ball of acid before the creature tunnelled back into the ground. Then it appeared in front of her again, waiting, and she wondered why it didn’t just eat her; but she realised that it was playing with her. Nata lifted and threw a boulder at it with her biotics, and it screamed when the rock made contact. She did it again, but then she knew that she was too weak to lift anything else. She dodged another ball of acid, and threw a warp back. Another projectile of acid, but this time when she went to throw a warp, knowing that it would consume the last of her energy, she heard a gunshot. Before she could turn towards the source of the noise, she watched a missile sail across the space and straight into the monster’s head, exploding on contact. The headless body shuddered, then thudded to the ground, spraying everything close with goo.

  Now Nata, cradling her bad arm, turned to her saviour. The turian placed his gun onto the holster on his back, looking at the corpse of the creature. He then looked over at her and tipped his head in acknowledgement. Nata walked cautiously up to him, grateful but still wary.

  “Thresher maw.” He said, and she stopped dead in her tracks.

  “What?” She asked, her voice raspy. He then pointed to the dead monster.

  “It’s a thresher maw, if you were wondering.”

  “I wasn’t, but thanks” She said with a hint of humour in her voice. It was good to be able to speak to someone again. “Corporal Natalie Shepard, Alliance military, sir.” She introduced herself, straightening as much as she could and saluting. “Thank you for your help; honestly, I doubt I would have made it without you, sir.”

  “Saren Arterius. I’m a Council Spectre.”

  “A Spectre? Why are you..?”

  “When your squad sent an SOS message then stopped communicating, the Alliance informed the Council that something had gone wrong. They are on their way to investigate, but I was sent to find out what happened before the Alliance could cover anything up.” Nata blinked.

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because you have clearly been through a lot, and I want you to know that you can trust me.”

  “Sir, you earned that trust when you blew up the massive worm.”

  “Thresher maw.”

  “With respect, sir; I don’t really care what it’s called.” Saren nodded.

  “It won’t be long until the Alliance ship gets here, can I escort you back to the landing pad?”

  “Yes please. But… could you just give me a minute?” She asked.

  “Alright…” He said sounding a little confused. Nata walked over to the body of the thresher maw and looked down at the monster that had caused so much pain. She thought of all of the lost lives, all of the families who would be told that their loved one had been killed, and lost her temper. She screamed as she kicked the corpse repeatedly, cursing with every swearword she could think of, taking everything out on the dead flesh. Then she threw her biotics at it, which moved it slightly away from her. Nata slumped to the ground, holding her face as she cried, exhaustion and relief completely taking over. She allowed herself a minute to cry and grieve, then hiccupped one last sob, wiped her face, and stood up again. Turians were infuriatingly hard to read, so she didn’t know what he was thinking until he spoke.

  “Humans…” He said with disbelief, shaking his head.

  “I’m ready now.” She said in reply, and they made the short walk back to the landing pad.

  “I still need to check out the camp. I’d rather be in and out before the Alliance ever knew I was here.” Saren said. Nata nodded, understanding. “You won’t be alone for long.” He assured her, and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

  “Thank you for everything, sir.”

  “Just doing my job, soldier.” He replied, then left her to wait.

***

  The first person off the shuttle was her brother. He squinted trying to work out if it was her, and she suddenly realised that she must look awful. She certainly felt it. But then Daniel ran up to her and wrapped her up in a huge hug, and she couldn’t help but start crying again. A squad dropped down behind him, and they continued onwards, no care for her but to stare as they passed. Daniel helped her into the shuttle, where she was wrapped in a metallic blanket by some person she didn’t see, and sat down. No-one asked her to tell them anything until they were back on the ship and she had been examined by the doctor. Then, with an IV in her arm, she was left alone in the medical bay with her brother and Anderson. Once they were assured that she was okay, she told then everything she could remember about what happened. Daniel held her hands the entire time, silent, and when she had finished… he cried. She had never seen her brother cry, not even when their mother had died; but this event, the loss of innocence in his little sister and the relief that she wasn’t dead, was enough to do it. Anderson told her that he was proud of her, and that he couldn’t find the words to say how happy that he was that she was safe.

***

  A few days later, Nata was still in the medical bay, despite feeling much better, when Anderson came in to tell her that not only had the Alliance taken note of her bravery and perseverance, but that the Council had also sent words of commendation, at the recommendation of the Spectre Saren Arterius.

  “You must have impressed him; I never would have thought that Saren would ever think well of a human, much less admit it.” He said to her. She shrugged her shoulders carefully, the left one still hurting even though her arm had been put in a sling. “Anyway, we’ll be home soon.”

  “Home.” She repeated quietly, not entirely sure what that meant. Was it Elysium or Earth? Because to her, all she needed was the people she loved; and not all of them were there.

 

_“And I want it, I want my life so bad, I’m doing everything I can... But you won’t see me fall apart, ‘cause I’ve got an elastic heart.”_


	4. I Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again Kaidan Alenko and Nata Shepard are brought together, this time as crewmates on the SSV Normandy, awaiting news of their first mission.  
> But Nata seems distant from the crew, and as much as many put it down to her reaction to Akuze, Kaidan can't help but think it has to do with him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back, back again, Eavesdrop's back, tell your friends....
> 
> Sorry that it's been so long, but uni is kicking my ass. I'm still in the thick of it, but really wanted to get a chapter out there, so y'all know I haven't given up! Hopefully it won't be so long again... *laughs nervously*
> 
> Oh, and btw: the layout of the SR1 is so stupid, like where does everyone hang out? Where do they sleep? How do they go to the toilet?These questions haunt me.  
> Sooooo let's all pretend that the SR1 has the crew/middle deck like the SR2, okay? Okay.
> 
> Oh and it was written late evening/early morning so please forgive any mistakes... but I hope you enjoy it! :)

_“I believe in the lost possibilities you can’t see, and I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be. I know that your heart is still beating, beating, darling. I believe that you fell so you would land next to me.”_

 

**-2183-**

 

  Kaidan was excited. He was stood in the CIC of the most technologically advanced ship that the Alliance had ever built, part of its first ever crew, under the command of Captain David Anderson. About twenty people stood in the room, spread around the CO’s station, waiting for the captain to instruct them. What the ship lacked in size, it more than made up for in potential, and Kaidan hadn’t yet stopped wondering why he had been chosen for something so important.

  “To you know who the XO is?” Jenkins asked him. The corporal had latched onto him for some reason, meaning that Kaidan was subjected to the constant enthusiasm that came only with youth. But he clearly needed some guidance and support, and Kaidan wasn’t the kind of guy to knock a kid down.

  “Why would I know, corporal?” He asked.

  “Well, you have been around a while. I thought maybe you had some insider knowledge?” Kaidan laughed.

  “Nope, no insider knowledge here. Though I have met the captain before.”

  “Captain Anderson? How?”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “Oh..?” Jenkins was going to say more, but he shut his mouth when the door from the comm room opened, and everyone quietened as Captain Anderson mounted the CO’s station. He was sure that more people entered the room with the captain, but he couldn’t see from his place in the room.

  “Welcome, everyone, to the SSV Normandy. You were all picked to be a part of this crew based on your excellent service records. We will have a few days before we are given our first mission, which is plenty of time for you all to get better acquainted with each other, as you should do; as a stealth vessel, our missions will naturally be dangerous in nature, and you will have to be able to trust the people on this ship if this crew is to succeed. The Council is giving us a chance to prove ourselves in the name of the Alliance, and we cannot let them down.

  “Now onto the introductions. You all know that I am Captain David Anderson, and that I am the Commanding Officer of this ship. Your pilot is Jeff Moreau, although he has asked me to tell you to call him ‘Joker’ and your Navigation Officer is Charles Pressly. Now, when I was asked who I wanted to be my Executive Officer, I told them that I couldn’t pick just one, and more importantly that I would want no-one else to help me command this ship. So may I introduce your _two_ XOs, Commanders Daniel and Natalie Shepard.” Kaidan stopped breathing for a moment in his surprise. Anderson moved away from the podium, and sure enough Daniel Shepard took his place. Kaidan could just see the other Shepard standing behind him, mostly obscured from sight. He couldn’t bring himself to pay attention to what Daniel was saying, because he was far too focussed on the top of a red head. He could have laughed, but instead he mentally tipped off his figurative hat to her previous faith in the workings of fate. Or was it the work of coincidence in the chaos that was the galaxy that they lived in? To be honest, he wasn’t sure anymore. But whatever it was, it had worked in his favour; even if it had taken six years.

  “Nata, do you have anything you want to say?” Daniel had turned to speak to his sister, who obviously replied, though Kaidan couldn’t hear. Then Daniel moved away from the platform, and Nata took his place. She wore her hair back in a ponytail and as much as he knew, obviously, that she was a soldier, it was strange to see her in an Alliance uniform.

  “Good morning, crew.” She said, with a smile, radiating confidence as she had when he had seen her speak to the group at Daniel’s party. She held her hands behind her back and rocked forward and backward as she spoke. “Firstly, I would like to say that the fact that there are two XOs will not change how the ship is run. In situations where decisions are left up to us, they will be made together, so if you get an answer or order you don’t like from one Shepard, please do not insult either of us by running to the other. There is no good-cop-bad-cop situation here, and you are especially mistaken if you think that I am the former because I am younger or because of a misplaced association of femininity with manipulability.” He was so convinced by her impressiveness and self-assurance that he began to wonder whether she had finally shrugged off the last residual shyness of her youth. It made sense; as much as he thought about her more than he probably should and considered her a friend despite how few their meetings were, Kaidan really didn’t know her all that well. He had just thought that he instinctively understood her, and maybe he had been wrong.

  Then Nata nodded slightly to herself, as if checking off a mental list she had made of what to say, and it occurred to Kaidan that perhaps she had agonised over and practiced what she would say like a script. Maybe that’s how the bashful biotic girl he used to know had dealt with becoming ‘Commander Shepard, survivor of Akuze’. He then wondered if Nata was still in there somewhere under the mask that she wore, and as if she had heard his question, her gaze moved to where he was in the room and her eyes widened in recognition and surprise and… was that fear? She swallowed before speaking again. “But I would also like you all to know that even if we _do_ make decisions that you do not like, we are not your enemies. Too many crew members see their commanders as _others_ , and not to be trusted. Please try to remember that although Daniel and I may be hard-asses sometimes, everything we do will be for the good of the crew. And I also sincerely hope that we think of each other as comrades, not just as crewmates. I… that’s all I can say, I suppose.” She flashed a quick smile, nodded again, then retreated from the podium, swapping places with Anderson.

  “We will let you know as soon as we hear any news on our first mission, so as I said before, use this time to get to know the ship. If you need me, I will be in my office, but I would request that your first port of call be with the Shepards.” It seemed that everyone decided to stay and mingle in the CIC; everyone simply turned to the person next to them and began talking.

  “Wow, I can’t believe we’re working with the _Shepards_! Did you hear about them..? Of course you did, _everyone_ knows about them…” Jenkins spoke excitedly and Kaidan couldn’t help but look over at where the two siblings in question were standing. They were clearly fighting about something with Nata emphatically pointing as she spoke. Then she looked over at him and quickly whipped round back to her brother, said one more thing as she shook her head, then stalked off. Why did Kaidan get the distinct feeling in his gut that _he_ had been the problem being discussed by the siblings?

 

  By the third day they had all fallen into their own routines; they were all military, after all. As much as Kaidan tried to keep himself to himself (he had never really got over the whole expectation of people reacting to him in a negative way when they found out about his biotics), he did find that people would make an effort to try to get to know him. He had never experienced this kind of tolerance and kindness on any other ship he had been on, and it was a welcome change. He wondered if there was more to Anderson’s choice of crew than just ‘ability’.

  However, one person who had made themselves scarce was Nata; which was made more noticeable, even to the other crewmembers, by the regular appearances of Daniel. Rumours started circulating about her, which mostly involved PTSD and survivor’s guilt after Akuze, or not wanting to get attached to the crew because she was afraid of losing people. But there a few whisperings that Nata was simply a bitch; when said within earshot of Kaidan, he would reply with a curt reminder of rank and therefore to shut the fuck up. As much as he defended her without hesitation, he couldn’t deny the sting that was there from the feeling he got that she was avoiding _him_.

  After a week without any news on their mission, it was an understatement to say that everyone was feeling restless. Kaidan often found himself roaming the ship, unsure of what to do. One afternoon, though he usually played cards with some of the members of the crew at that time, he felt that he needed some time alone and took himself on one of his walks through the ship. He was walking by the CO’s office when he, literally, bumped into Nata.

  “Sorry!” He said with a laugh in his voice. The younger Shepard looked at him with big, surprised eyes before smiling shyly.

  “Hey, Kaidan.” She replied and took a breath. “How’ve you been?”

  “Oh, same old same old. Bored to tears to be honest, but happy to be here.”

  “Not enjoying having so much free time, Lieutenant? I can easily fix that, you know. How does cleaning the mess hall sound?” She teased, her eyes sparkling as she teased him. “Joking aside, I know it’s been tough on you guys in this limbo, but honestly if we knew anything we would tell you right away. There are no secrets here; that is, not from me at least.”

  “I know, don’t worry. Anyway, how are you? It’s been too long.”

  “Yeah, six years… wow… hey, how come you never seem to change, eh?”

  “What can I say? I like to be consistent.” He replied with a smile and a shrug, and was rewarded with a proper laugh from her; grinning, goofy and light, and it made his breath catch in his chest.

  “But in answer to your question, extremely busy.” She replied, a bit more soberly.

  “Oh?”

  “While Danny’s been making friends and influencing people, shaking hands and kissing babies, you know how he is, _I_ have to do all of the paperwork. Gotta love being an XO.” She said with a laugh.

  “So that’s why you’ve been keeping yourself to yourself?” He asked. Nata laughed shortly and without amusement, then smiled sadly.

  “God, I can’t bring myself to lie to you, Kaidan. I _have_ been finding reasons to stay out of the way of the crew… away from you.”

  “Oh.” Was all that he said. “For any particular reason?” He ventured, and she sighed deeply, then kept her eyes down as she answered him.

  “In short? Because I am a coward.” Nata then shook her head, clearly angry at herself. “I was… so scared, Kaidan. Scared that you weren’t going to be the man that I remembered, and even more terrified that I’m not the girl who you remember.”

  “Because of Akuze?” Kaidan asked quietly, and she still wouldn’t meet his gaze.

  “It’s kind of funny; Daniel got his invitation to the N7 program for Elysium, for being brave and strong. And me? I got it for Akuze. Do you know how I survived?” She scoffed before continuing. “When the thresher maw attacked, I ran away, into the forest. And then I hid for two days. When I finally tried to make it back to the landing zone, I was almost killed by that damned creature, and am only alive because a Spectre was around to save my ass. One of the only reasons I can still get up in the morning is because I owe it to the fifty people who lost their lives on that godforsaken planet. And I didn’t want you to see that in me, because I… have always looked up to you. But now…” Kaidan shook his head in disbelief. She was avoiding him because she thought that he would judge her and find her wanting after everything she had been through. Of course it had changed her, how could it not? But he didn’t see anything _wrong_ with her. From what he could tell, being touched by darkness had only made her light shine brighter. He tried to think of a way to explain this to her, and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

  “Nata, look at me.” He said softly. She lifted her wide, shining eyes up to his. “How can you not see how much strength that shows? Not just managing to make it out of Akuze, even if _you_ think that it was cowardly, which I do not; but being able to tell the world that, yeah, sometimes you get scared, but you’re _still here,_ still fighting. You are Natalie Shepard, and you have earned your place in this galaxy, and are trying to put good into a world that has dealt you countless bad hands. Nata, you amaze me, and you definitely don’t have to be afraid of what I think of you… because it is nothing but good.” Nata exhaled quickly, relief softening the expression of her face.

  “God, I needed that. Thank you; you always appear like a guardian angel, to say the right things to make me feel better, when I need it most.”

  “It’s nothing you haven’t done for me in the past.” Kaidan replied. “But you just needed reminding, that’s all.”

  “I’m probably going to kick myself later for telling you this but, when I was in Akuze… you were one of the things that got me through.”

  “Me?” He said, a flicker of hope suddenly making a tentative appearance.

  “Well, I did promise you that I would make it out alive. And I do my best to keep my promises.” Kaidan narrowed his eyes as he recalled the memory, then smiled.

  “I believe I specifically said ‘safe’, so...” She laughed again, shaking her head.

  “God, no-one’s perfect, Kaidan.” Nata replied.

  “I’m not so sure about that.” He said quietly as he regarded her, before he could stop himself. He then cleared his throat. “So, Nata... Are we good?” He asked.

  “We’re good, Kaidan.” She assented, smiling as she looked up at him. “And I’ll try to stop being so antisocial, but I can’t promise anything as I’m not kidding about Daniel leaving me all the work.” She paused for a moment, then shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe after so long that we’re actually going to be working together…”

  “Yeah, it’s pretty crazy. I do have to give it to your unwavering faith that we would meet again.”

  “Oh it wavered, believe me. But… I… I’m really happy that we’re getting this chance.”

  “Me too.” He said softly. Nata sighed deeply.

  “I really should get back to work, but we’ll definitely chat again soon. We have a hell of a lot of catching up to do.”

  “Sure thing; I look forward to it.”

  “I do too. See you later, Lieutenant.” She said with a grin and a casual salute.

  “Promises, promises, Commander.” He replied, and she giggled as she left, towards the room she shared with her brother. He went back to the crew quarters feeling happier than he had in a long time. The logical part of his mind was telling him that they could never be together, not in the least because of Alliance protocol, and that she probably only thought of him as a friend; but that didn’t stop him from hoping that maybe, just maybe, all that had happened in their lives had been to bring them here, together.

  As it would turn out, the next day they would all receive the news that they had been anxiously awaiting; they finally had their first mission.

 

_“I believe in the lost possibilities you can’t see, and I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be. I know that your heart is still beating, beating, darling. I believe that you fell so you would land next to me.”_


	5. It's Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is preparing for the Normandy's first mission, but members of the crew are nervous about why a Council Spectre is involved...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been 84 years.....
> 
> I am so sorry guys. I know. I know. This chapter has been a real dick, and I was super busy, and I had a massive case of writer's block but TADAAAAA!!
> 
> RE: game dialogue, I'm gonna -try- to keep it to an absolute minimum, but some things just have to stay the same, ya know?
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

_“It's time to begin, isn't it? I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit I'm just the same as I was. Now don't you understand that I'm never changing who I am?”_

 

  So this was it. Finally the Normandy would be put to the test, and they would all find out if their names would be illustrious or as another of the galaxy’s jokes about humanity. Nata wasn’t sure if she preferred one over the other. She walked through the ship with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, wishing that her brother were here instead of holed up with Anderson. She found it so much easier to be who everyone wanted her to be when he was around. She couldn’t shake the feeling that not one of these people cared about her, or even saw her as an actual human being. She was a concept, an authority, and not a _person_ like them; ‘N7’, ‘commander’ and ‘sole survivor’ were what defined her. Perhaps that had partly her fault for throwing herself into work instead of socialising with the crew, but it was hard for her to understand the lines drawn of what was appropriate interaction, and the anxiety had made her give up the idea.

  Halfway down the CIC she passed Nihlus, the spectre that had appeared earlier that day to inform them of their first mission, and they nodded to each other in greeting. She heard two crew members in the cockpit talking about the turian, and flushed with embarrassment, because if she could hear them then no doubt Nihlus could too. No doubt the unprofessionalism of the crew would be reported back to the Council, and the Normandy’s death warrant signed. She hoped that she could try to smooth things over before he left… either that or did a kick-ass job at whatever they were supposed to be doing on Eden Prime. Nata came up behind the two and interjected at a lull in the conversation.

  “Subtlety is not your strong suit, is it, Joker?” She said quietly, feigning nonchalance. Nata had spoken a few times to the pilot before, and generally liked him. She especially liked that he didn’t pussy-foot around her; but as much as that kind of disregard for authority was alright with her, it was not however okay with a spectre.

  “Were we that loud?” Kaidan asked, turning around to look at her from the seat adjacent to Joker.

  “I think that the crew down in engineering heard you two bickering.” She said with a laugh and a smile, trying not to seem like she was chastising too much. Shit, she wasn’t cut out for this; either she was too nice or too mean, there was no in-between. “But seriously, it was really unprofessional in front of a spectre. We may be an Alliance crew, but if the Council say so, we are toast.”

  “Sorry, it won’t happen again… Commander.” Kaidan said, instantly contrite, though he stumbled over her rank.

  “They put far too much time and money into this ship to ground her. Totally revamp the crew, maybe. I’m irreplaceable, of course, but you should be worried, Alenko. There’s hundreds of muscle just waiting to take your place. And the Commander even has a replacement on board, let alone anyone else better qualified.” The pilot added to the conversation. Kaidan glared at the other man, but Nata laughed.

  “Thanks, Joker. That’s very comforting.”

  “Come on, I didn’t mean it like that. Anyway, you’re much easier on the eyes and ears than the other guy, Commander. To be honest, at risk of compromising the masculine vibe I’ve clearly got going on, he kinda scares me a little bit.”

  “He’s a puppy, Joker.” She informed him.

  “Yeah, a _Rottweiler_ puppy.”

  “Alright he _could_ kill you with just one finger…”

  “Now who’s being comforting?”

  “Though the Commander here could probably do it with just one look. She is a biotic, after all.” Kaidan added, his face serious, but his eyes sparkling with laughter as they met hers.

  “I’d have to think _really_ hard though. It’d take me a good three seconds…” She informed Joker with an innocent look on her face.

  “Haha, very funny. I thought _I_ was supposed to be the clown around here.” Joker muttered.

  “You’re right though, Joker.” Nata said quietly. “Something isn’t quite right.”

  “Thank you! See, Alenko, that’s why she’s the boss. She has good intuition.”

  “I sit corrected and humbled.” Kaidan replied, and Nata embarrassingly snorted a laugh. Before anyone said anything else, Anderson’s voice came from Joker’s comm.

  “ _Joker, status report.”_

“Everything looks solid.”

  _“Good. Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the comm room for a debriefing.”_

  “She heard you, Captain. And you better brace yourself, sir; I think Nihlus is headed your way.”

  _“Here’s already here.”_

  “Smooth.” Nata said quietly. “I better not keep him waiting.”

  “See you around.” Joker said.

  “Commander.” Kaidan added. Nata smiled, then turned from them and left. As she passed the navigation crew, she made eye contact with Officer Pressly, and they each nodded to the other. She looked from him to the path ahead of her, she saw the ship’s medical officer talking to one of the crew. She took a deep breath, put a smile on her face and went up to them, figuring that she’d risk the wrath of Anderson. Which, of course, had never before been directed at her and she didn’t expect would be now.

  “Mind if I interrupt?” Nata asked.

  “Of course not, Commander. It’s good to get the chance to talk to you. I’m Doctor Chakwas.” The older woman said.

  “I knew that, Doctor. And I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier, it’s just been so busy…”

  “Oh don’t worry; this is the first time I’ve surfaced from the Medical Bay since I boarded, so we never stood a chance.” She smiled kindly at Nata, then motioned to the young man standing beside her. “Have you had the chance to meet Corporal Jenkins?”

  “No I haven’t. Nice to meet you, Corporal.” Jenkins, who had been staring at her dumbstruck with his mouth slightly open, blinked a few times before speaking.

  “Commander Shepard, it is such an honour to meet you, Ma’am!” He said with the fervour of youth.

  “I wouldn’t be offended if it wasn’t.” Nata told him with a smile, and Chakwas chuckled. “Anyway, how’re you finding life on the ship?”

  “Oh it’s great everyone is so nice, it’s just…” He stopped.

  “Hm?” Nata prompted.

  “Well, we haven’t really been doing anything. I’m excited to see some action!”

  “From what I can tell, you won’t be seeing any anytime soon, I’m afraid.”

  “Yeah I know, we’re headed to Eden Prime, aren’t we?”

  “Yes we are.”

  “Jenkins was just telling me a bit more about our destination.” Chakwas added.

  “I’m from Eden Prime, you see. Born and raised.” Jenkins told Nata.

  “I’m sure it was a great place to grow up.”

  “Sure; I mean, it’s beautiful, but it can be a bit…”

  “Restrictive?”

  “Exactly.”

  “I’ve been telling him not to wish for bad things to happen.” The doctor said.

  “She’s not wrong, Jenkins. You’ll see more than enough action in your career in the future, I’m sure. Just enjoy the calm before the inevitable storm.” Nata told the young man. Chakwas smiled approvingly, nodding.

  “Yes, Ma’am.” Jenkins said.

  “Good. Well, I should be going or you might be down one Commander on this ship.” Nata said with a laugh.

  “I’m sure that won’t happen” Chakwas said kindly.

  “Joker has some opinions to the contrary on that subject, perhaps you should discuss it with him.”

  “That man has never met a figure of authority that he didn’t revel in riling up. It’s nothing personal.”

  “I know. I quite like it actually; everyone else walks on eggshells around me.”

  “They respect you, as they should; you and your brother are legends.”

  “So I’ve been told.” Nata shook her head and smiled. “Anyway, see you later.”

  “Good luck.” Chakwas said, returning the smile.

  When Nata entered the comm room, Daniel was instantly by her side, tutting with a mock expression of disappointment on his face. Nata rolled her eyes like she was a teenager again.

  “And just where have you been, missy?” Her brother teased her. “It’s not like you to be late. We’ve been waiting her for ages; I think Anderson might have some more grey hairs. _I_ might have some grey hairs.”

  “Hahaha, very funny.” She said, sounding completely unamused. “I’ll have you know that I was networking.”

  “Ooooohhhh, ‘ _networking_ ’, is that what we call it now?”

  “ _It_ being...?”

  “Oh dear, little sister. You don’t think I didn’t know how long you’ve carried a torch for our Lieutenant Alenko? What has it been, ten years? Eleven?”  
  “ _Do not go there.”_ Nata said, her voice dipping low as she glowered at the other Shepard.

  “ _I wonder if Mr Alenko will visit again. I hope he does. He’s so kind, he’s so handsome…”_ Daniel screeched a poor mockery of her voice.

  “I swear to God, Daniel, if you don’t shut up _…”_ She felt a familiar wave of tingling heat over her skin, a mixture of pins and needles and sunburn, and Daniel grinned at her.

  “There it is! I love it that I can still piss you off enough to lose that tight control on your biotics. You do look funny blue.”

  “You are the most childish, idiotic, awful human being…”

  “Playing nice, Commanders?” Anderson interrupted, standing in front of them. Nata’s face was red with both embarrassment and residual anger.

  “Of course, sir.” Daniel replied with a smile, putting his arm around his sister, who glared up at him. Anderson sighed deeply, shaking his head.

  “You two are going to be the death of me.” The Captain said, then motioned with his head for them to go deeper into the room. “Come on, Nihlus is ready for you now.”

  “Commanders.” Nihlus addressed them as they approached. “I am sure that you know that I am not here merely for the purpose of monitoring the shakedown run of this vessel.”

  “Well, I wasn’t sure if the Council was deciding that it had the jurisdiction to send its guard dogs to breathe down the Alliance’s necks.” Daniel replied curtly. Nata shot Daniel a glare, then turned her gaze to Nihlus as she realised that she was going to have to do damage control this meeting.

  “What he means is that the crew has been a little tense about a Spectre being on board. Of course they are; you guys are the galaxy’s most elite force. It’s like not knowing if you are being tested, so having no idea as to what the passing criteria is and if you are achieving it. I don’t think anyone is in any position to make assumptions about what may or may not be going on.” She said with a small smile. In her peripheral vision she saw Anderson relax a little with relief, as she searched for some sort of reaction from the turian, to no avail.

  “The first thing that you should know is that there is a specific purpose for our trip to Eden Prime.” Nihlus continued speaking. “And that is because a prothean beacon was recently excavated, and it needs to be transported to the Citadel where it can be analysed by experts. Naturally, this needs to be kept secret until we know exactly what it is, and that is where this ship and its crew comes in.”

  “Of course.”

  “I am here to ensure that everything goes according to plan…”

  “We don’t need a babysitter.” Daniel muttered, earning him a sharp elbow to the ribs from his sister.

  “… but that is not the only reason for my being here.” When the turian stopped talking, Nata looked to Anderson. He looked from her to Daniel before he spoke.

  “Nihlus is here to evaluate you.”

  “ _Evaluate_?” Daniel repeated questioningly.

  “To become a Spectre.”

  “You’d let a human become a Spectre? We’re just children compared to the other races.” Nata asked Nihlus.

  “The Council thought that too, that’s why your species has not been considered before. But that was before we saw what the best of humanity could do."

  “Well despite what sometimes comes out of his mouth, I think that Daniel would make an excellent Spectre and I am glad that you are considering him.” She told him, looking up at her big brother with a proud grin, punching him on the arm playfully.

  “Nata…” Anderson called her attention, dropping protocol by using her nickname. “You are also being considered.” She laughed reflexively, then stopped when she saw how serious the Captain’s face was.

  “Oh God, you’re being serious.” She said, the realisation on her face turning to horror.

  “You have shown just as much promise as your brother has, if not more.” Nata tried not to notice her brother stiffen beside her at that. “Of course the Council would consider you both.” Nihlus said to her, but she shook her head.

  “I have done nothing to deserve this. Daniel is the hero here; I just have a nasty habit of showing up at the wrong place at the wrong time…”

  “And making it out alive.”

  “Dumb luck. If it wasn’t for Spectre Saren…”

  “He personally recommended you, Commander.” Nihlus interrupted her. “And he is not one to praise humanity.”

  “I’m not cut out for this. Christ, I’m 24… Danny, back me up on this.”

  “You aren’t like normal 24-year-olds, Nat. You’ve been through enough for your age not to matter.” Daniel said quietly. She looked at him, incredulous.

  “You’re taking their side!?”

  “Look, being considered doesn’t handcuff you to the job. If you really are as unqualified as you say you are, then you just won’t pass.” Her brother said, crossing his arms.

  “I don’t want to _fail_ either.” She pointed out. “I’d rather not be considered at all, thank you very much.”

  “You not wanting it is precisely one of the reasons why you would make a great Spectre.” Anderson pointed out, to which Nihlus nodded in agreement.

  “That’s bullshit, but anyway, what exactly is our mission?”

  “To secure the beacon and get it onto the ship ASAP. We should be getting close to Eden…” Anderson was cut off when Joker’s voice came through the speakers.

  “Captain! We’ve got a problem.” The pilot said.

  “What’s wrong, Joker?”

  “Transmission from Eden Prime, sir.”

  “Bring it up on screen.” They all turned to the screen to see what the problem was. The video started, showing a human unit being attacked. There were shots and explosions, and it was hard to see through the smoke, but clearly they were being slaughtered. In the background, Nata saw something that looked like a gigantic mechanical hand reaching towards the ground from the sky. It ended with just static, leaving a nervous, nauseous feeling in her stomach.

  “Everything cuts out after that.” Joker concluded.

  “Reverse and hold at 38.5.” The clip moved back to where Nata had saw the strange hand, and they all stared at it. Or was it tentacles? “Status report.”

  “Seventeen minutes out, Captain.”

  “Take us in Joker. This mission just got a lot more complicated.”

  “A small strike team can move quickly without drawing attention.” Nihlus mentioned.

  “Exactly what I was thinking.” Anderson paused for a moment, clearly making a decision. “Tell Jenkins and Alenko to suit up. You four are going down with Nihlus.”

  “Sir, we don’t need two biotics. Alenko could stay behind.” Nata ventured, hoping to keep as many of the crew out of this unexpected situation as possible. At least that’s what she told herself.

  “That doesn’t matter; I want both of you to have back-up while you’re down there.” Anderson replied.

  “Yes, sir.” Both of the Shepards replied in unison, then left the room.

   “I’ll tell the two lucky guys that they’re coming with us; you head down to cargo.” Daniel said with a grin.

  “Alright.” Nata agreed. Her brother put a hand on her shoulder.

  “I’m sure everything will be fine, Natter.” He said to her gently, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Hey.” He said, and she looked up. “I’ll be there with you.” And she was reminded in that moment just how well her brother knew her.

  “At least Jenkins gets a taste of the action he was so hoping for.” She said with a half-hearted laugh.

  “Good for him.” Daniel said, starting to walk away. “But little sister… try to make me look good out there, yeah?” He said with a wink.

  “You can do that for yourself, big head.” She said with a genuine laugh this time as they parted ways, though her stomach would take more convincing that everything would be fine.

_“It's time to begin, isn't it? I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit I'm just the same as I was. Now don't you understand that I'm never changing who I am?”_


	6. Radioactive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Normandy's shakedown mission does not go according to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Thanks every god that she can think of that this chapter is over*
> 
> I hope y'all like it because this chapter sucked balls to write. And it turned out longer than the others for some reason... But the next chapter should be better as it's gonna be muchos fluff which is my favourite thing to write yayyyyyyy *throws confetti*
> 
> I love you all for reading this weird au story of mine. I promise. Cross my heart, hope to not-die. Otherwise I wouldn't be writing it for you lovely people- I'd just play it in my head instead XD
> 
> It's late and I'm very tired. Sorry for the rambling. Enjoy!

_“All systems go, the sun hasn't died. Deep in my bones, straight from inside. I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones, enough to make my systems blow. Welcome to the new age.”_

 

  As soon as they hit the ground, Nata sensed that whatever had attacked the unit was still lurking unseen. She looked at Kaidan and Jenkins to see if it was just knowledge of what happened in the video making her paranoid. Sure enough, Jenkins seemed as calm as ever, happy even, but Kaidan’s brows were furrowed and he looked around with focussed eyes as if searching for something. Their eyes met and instead of looking away, she nodded, trying to tell him that he was right to be suspicious.

  Beside her, Daniel shouted in alarm and started shooting something until Jenkins shouted over the sound of the gunshots.

  “They’re harmless, sir!” Nata squinted into the distance in the direction that her brother had been shooting at, and saw what looked like jellyfish with legs.

  “Well done, wannabe-Spectre Shepard.” She said with a grin, Daniel’s face reddening. “It’s good thing Nihlus went ahead on his own so wasn’t here to witness that…”

  “Hey, I’m on my guard, okay? No-one can blame me for that.” He replied, acting defensive and self-righteous, which was always a trait that her brother exhibited that never failed to piss her off.

  “They can if it was a civilian. Christ, Daniel...” Nata snapped. In the corner of her eye she watched Kaidan nod infinitesimally, as if he wanted to say the same thing but didn’t; probably because Daniel was his superior. She had no such qualms.

  “Well they shouldn’t have been hiding in the bushes then, should they!?” Nata laughed without humour.

  “How dare someone hide when they’re scared and come out when they see an Alliance uniform! You know, the people who are supposed to protect them!? Yeah, that’ll go down well at a tribunal.”

  “Get off my back, _Natter_. It was just a stupid… whatever it was!” He said darkly. She probably should have let it go, especially in front of other people, but she felt that her brother needed to be taught a lesson.

  “No, Danny, I won’t, because someone could have been hurt. Or worse. If you’re going to be a Spectre you need to be held accountable for your actions.”

  “No I don’t; that’s the point of Spectres.”

  “You really think that?” She said incredulously, and shook her head with disappointment. “Then you are not ready for such responsibility.”

  “Jesus, Natalie, like you know anything about what it takes to be a Spectre!” Nata clamped her mouth shut and clenched her teeth, taking deep breaths through her nose. Beside her Kaidan exhaled and shifted his feet, and Jenkins looked around, clearly uncomfortable. “Look, the point is I saw something that I didn’t recognise, it spooked me, and I panicked. Okay?”

  “There you have it, boys; welcome to the reason why the First Contact War happened.” Kaidan stifled a laugh, and Nata tried to ignore her brother’s glare as she turned to the Corporal. “Alright Jenkins, as our local tour guide; lead the way. Just be careful.”

  “And don’t shoot anything without getting a detailed family history, or Nata will bite your head off.”

  “I sure will.” She agreed, flashing a defiant smile.

  “It always surprises people when they find out that my sweet, meek little sister has a temper.” Daniel told the others.

  “Well she _is_ a redhead.” Kaidan pointed out, and Nata rolled her eyes with a smile.

  “I would apologise for being unprofessional, but _he_ would have to as well and we all know that won’t happen.” She said.

  “Don’t worry about it. There’s nothing wrong with feeling strongly about something.”

  “No problems here, ma’am.” Jenkins said with a grin.

  “Just wait ‘til it’s directed at you, Alenko; I’ll give you my Star of Terra if you can say the same thing then.”

  “I might have to yell at you a bit just to put it to the test. I’d love the chance to part him with his precious medal.” Nata added.

  “I look forward to it.” Kaidan told her with a wink that turned her stomach to jelly. Just then their comms buzzed into life.

  “This place got hit hard, Commanders. Hostiles everywhere. Keep your guard up.”

  “Thanks for the heads up.” Daniel replied to him, then they continued up the hill. Once they reached the top, the bodies started appearing. Nata looked over to Jenkins just as his face fell, so saw the exact second he realised how serious the situation was and began to fear.

  “Oh… oh, god. What happened here?” He stuttered out, suddenly a lot paler. They carried on, crouched now, and came to a clearing, with the only way forward being up a hill to the right, which veered off into a blind spot. The feeling of ‘wrongness’ in Nata’s gut intensified as she took in the area. She could hear her biotics like a buzz in the back of her skull, flaring up with her unease like a kind of survival instinct, and it took everything to keep the under control so that she didn’t shimmer.

  “Danny, I don’t like this. It’s too quiet.” She whispered, grip on her pistol tightening.

  “Don’t worry, little sister.” He replied, his face serious but his voice betraying his excitement at the prospect of some action. “I don’t think there’s anything around here, but just in case Jenkins and I will go ahead, and you biotics back us up if we need it.” Nata nodded, biting her bottom lip. As the other two edged forward, Kaidan moved forward to stand next to her.

  “You okay, Commander?” He asked, hushed.

  “Just fine, Lieutenant.” She replied in kind. He sighed deeply, and she was just about to ask him why when Daniel turned around and shouted,

  “See, Natter? I told you the coast was…” But before he could finish, Jenkins, who had continued to move forward, exclaimed something just as two drones came into a view, shooting him before anyone could do anything. Nata threw up a barrier around the two men ahead of them, not daring to think of the state Jenkins might be in, as Kaidan and Daniel gunned the drones down. As Daniel looked around for more, Nata and Kaidan ran over to where Jenkins lay.

  “He’s gone.” Kaidan said quietly, closing the other soldier’s eyes. “He never stood a chance.” Nata closed her eyes and inhaled slowly and Daniel swore loudly before kicking a stone across the clearing.

  “We’ll have to leave him here while we carry on with the mission.” She said solemnly.

  “What?” Daniel asked her, fury apparent in every limb of his body.

  “We know where his body is, so we can retrieve it for a proper burial.” She replied calmly. “And every moment we spend here arguing is time that is running out for any survivors.”

  “The mission has to come first.” Kaidan said quietly, his voice full of sorrow. Nata laid a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.

  “I need you to stay focussed, okay?” She said softly.

  “Aye aye, ma’am.” He replied, nodding as he looked at her.

  “We’ll get those bastards back.” Daniel hissed. “Let’s move out.” Kaidan stood up and held his hand out to help Nata up, which she took. They moved forward in silence, and had killed four more of the drones before Nihlus contacted them again.

  “I’ve got some burned out buildings here, Commanders. Brace yourself; there’s a lot of bodies.” He told them. “I’ll meet you at the dig site.”

  “Yes, sir.” Nata replied. They carried on, killing drones with relative ease once they realised that they could take cover behind rocks to catch their breath and the drones wouldn’t follow. They worked together without any orders, just instinctively helping each other as if their minds were connected. Daniel would attack and, Nata would protect him, with Kaidan watching her back, so that they had a sort of wave where two people would be out of cover at one time, and when one tapped out another would take their place.

***

  It felt like forever until the finally got to another clearing, at the top of a hill looking down. Below, in the distance, a soldier in white and pink armour dodged from cover to cover, seemingly attempting to surprise the drones, but far too outnumbered to be effective. The drones seemed to grow tired of the soldier and started chasing them towards Nata’s group, where the person took refuge behind a large rock. Daniel motioned for them all to go forward and assist, and as they moved forwards two new synthetics appeared. When she caught their gaze, Nata motioned for the other soldier to stay down and rest while the group took the hostiles out, but she, as Nata could now see, shook her head and continued to attack, forcing Nata to put a barrier up around the other woman, and hoped that Kaidan would watch for Daniel.

  With how aggressive Daniel and the other soldier were, they made quick work of their attackers. When it was clear that no more would be coming for the time being, they stood up and went over to the other soldier.

  “Thanks for your help; for a moment there I thought I wasn’t going to make it.” She said with a weary smile. “I’m Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212. Which one of you is in charge here?”

  “I am.” Said Daniel. In the corner of her eye Nata saw Kaidan roll his eyes, and suppressed a smile before she turned to Williams.

  “Are you alright? We have medigel...” She asked her.

  “Nothing serious, ma’am. The others… they weren’t so lucky.”

  “We caught your transmission just before we landed.” Daniel told her.

  “And you didn’t bring back-up?”

  “We’re not that kind of vessel, chief. We’re stealth; in-and-out missions, so we don’t carry a large combat force.”

  “Don’t get me wrong, sir; I’m glad you made it at all.” She said with a weak smile. “If only it had been sooner.”

  “You can’t think about that now, Williams, or it’ll drive you crazy.” Nata said gently. “First and foremost we need to get you off this planet safely. That’s how you honour your squad mates’ sacrifices. You concentrate on surviving, okay?”

  “Why do I get the feeling you speak from experience?” Ashley replied.

  “I do.”

  “I’ll trust you on it then.”

  “What happened?” Kaidan asked her.

  “We were patrolling, mostly just looking out for any reporters to scare off because, apparently this place is friggin’ paradise so what did we have to be afraid of?” She took a deep breath before continuing. “When they attacked, we tried to get off a distress call, but they cut our comms. I’ve been fighting for my life, and watching my friends die one by one, ever since.”

  “Any idea what these things are?” Daniel asked her, nudging a dead one with his foot to check it was dead, before crouching down to pick it up to study it. That was typical Daniel; if it had electricity in it he wanted to know everything about it.

  “I think… they’re geth.”

  “That makes sense.” Daniel said as he poked some wires, which for some reason made Nata feel nauseated. Maybe it was the thought of innards.

  “That’s strange… the geth haven’t been seen outside of the Veil in nearly 200 years.” Kaidan said.

  “Nice fact, Alenko. I think we’ve worked out who the brains of this operation is.” Daniel said, thinly veiling his mocking with humour. “And it certainly wasn’t Jenkins.”

  “I am so glad you are over his death enough to start cracking jokes.” Nata snapped and glared at her brother, who looked up from his study to meet her gaze unflinchingly. “What has it been, an hour? Two?” When he didn’t say anything, she continued, hissing, “What is wrong with you, Daniel?”

  “Does she always talk to her CO that way?” Ashley asked in a hushed aside to Kaidan.

  “Actually they’re both the CO, chief. And it just so happens that they’re brother and sister, which means the added fun of listening to them bicker, because he has an over-inflated ego and she worries too much but is afraid to say anything until she loses her temper with him.”

  “I heard that.” Daniel said warningly.

  “You were meant to, jackass. He’s giving us constructive criticism.” Nata replied.

  “Shit, you’re the Shepards…” Ashley said with dawning realisation, and looked at Nata. “You really _do_ know what I’m going through… ma’am.” Nata smiled sadly at her before turning to Daniel.

  “Anyway, we have a mission to complete and a Spectre waiting for us.” Nata said.

  “Any idea why the geth might be here?” Kaidan asked Ashley.

  “I think they’re here for the beacon.”

  “Shit.” Daniel cursed, putting his project down and standing up. “That’s what we’re here for.”

  “The dig site is close. It might still be there; I can take you.”

  “Well we are down a man.” Daniel said, turning on the charming smile that made all the girls at every function they had ever been to swoon. “We could use your help, Williams.”

  “I’ll enjoy the payback.” She replied with a smile.

  “Lead the way; we’ve got your back.” Nata said.

  “The beacon’s at the end of this trench.” They moved forward quickly, with the geth either eliminated or regrouping, so that the path was clear until they got to the dig site, where the fight began again. The way the rocks were conveniently placed, giving them both perfect cover and view of their enemies, made Nata feel like they were all just pawns in some greater being’s game.

  When they had fought through all of the geth and finally made it to the dig site, there was nothing there. Daniel, Kaidan and Nata all turned to Ashley, waiting for her to volunteer any more information.

  “They beacon was right there last time I saw it.” She said pointing to the pedestal in the middle of the site. “It must have been moved.”

  “By our side, or the geth?” Kaidan asked.

  “Maybe if we check out the research camp…”

  “Take us there.” Daniel told her.

  “Do you think there might be any survivors?” Nata asked her quietly as they started moving.

  “Maybe, if they were lucky; if they did, they’ll probably be hiding at the camp.” Nata nodded at the other woman and they continued on.

  “Commanders.” Nihlus’ voice said through their comms. “There’s a small spaceport up ahead that I want to check out. I’ll meet you there.”

  “I don’t like him being alone.” Nata muttered when the comm went silent again.

  “So your worrying is now including turians now?” Daniel said with a laugh, but she knew when he wasn’t joking.

  “Yes, because he is a person in a dangerous situation on his own. Forgive me for having some compassion.”

  “He’s not strictly a ‘ _person’_ …”

  “Fuck off, Daniel. What year is this, ’57?” She spat back. “Just shut up and do what you’re best at; destroying things.”

  “If you are referring to your data pad when you were fifteen, then I cannot be held accountable for the mislabelling of explosive devices in the tech department. I was trying to _improve_ it…”

  “I feel like you should have that tattooed across your forehead.”

  “What?”

  “‘ _I cannot be held accountable_ …’” She mimicked him. “Then everyone will know where you stand before you open your big mouth.”

  “Okay, we may be of equal rank, but I would think that you would at least defer to me as your elder.” Nata laughed.

  “Oh, you’re being serious? When you start acting like my elder, I’ll start treating you like it. Until then, I’m the only person in the galaxy who isn’t afraid to tell you when you’re being an ass. And I’m going to continue to do so until you stop treating all of this like a goddamned game that you are the protagonist of.”

  “And this is the thanks I get for everything I have done for you all your life? If I had known I probably would have just left you.” Nata shut her mouth with an audible snap. He didn’t mean it, not really, and reminding her that he had protected her all of her life was just a defence mechanism to get her to stop probing him and shut up. But it didn’t make it hurt any less or make her feel any less guilty.

  “Nihlus is a Spectre, Shepard.” Kaidan said quietly beside her. “He’ll be fine.”

  “You’ll be surprised how little it takes to be considered for Spectre status, believe me.”

  “Well at least keep in mind his age and experience.”

  “Thank you for trying to comfort me.”

  “The aim was not to ‘try’ but for it to work.” He informed her with a smile, making her laugh.

  “Alright, alright; I’m comforted.” She conceded.

  “That-a girl.”

  “Never say that again. That was disturbing.”

  “Yeah, I don’t know why I did, it just sort of came out.” He laughed.

  “Dork.” She said with a grin.

  “You’re all weird.” Ashley said, shaking her head with an amused expression on her face.

  “Hey, I’m the least weird person I know.” Daniel said.

  “Says the man who apparently likes to blow things up?”

  “I feel like we already ascertained that the incident with the data pad was an accident.”

  “Was coming up to me with a very large screwdriver and asking if you could experiment on my biotic implant an ‘accident’, too?” Nata added. Kaidan pulled a grossed-out face and Ashley looked at Daniel pointedly.

  “I like to see how things work!”

  “Like how serial killers dissect animals to see ‘how they work’..?” Ashley asked.

  “Ouch. That hurt.” Daniel put a hand to his chest like he had just been wounded. “And anyway I think that’s ‘to see what they look like inside’.”

  “And you don’t do that?”

  “Not to animals, no.”

  “Ugh can we stop talking about this?” Nata interrupted.

  “Looks like it got hit hard.” Ashley said when they came to the eerily desolate camp.

  “And a good place for an ambush.” Kaidan muttered, and they all lifted their guns a little higher. There were huge metal spires reaching up to the sky, and Nata’s stomach did and unpleasant roll. As they approached the area, one of the spires retracted and the body flailed as it hurtled to the ground. “Oh God, they’re still alive!”

  “Not the word I would use.” Daniel said, and sure enough they barely looked human at all; they glowed blue from wires all along their bodies and the only noise they made was a low rasping wail.

  “What did the geth do to them?” Ashley asked as it started charging at them.

  “Can I shoot it?” Daniel asked Nata. All she could so was nod wordlessly, and he took it out. Then the other two spires fell, but their victims were dead as soon as they hit the ground as Daniel didn’t wait to ask to shoot those ones. Daniel went up to one of the two huts in the clearing, and quickly hacked the security lock on the door. Meanwhile, Nata and Kaidan inspected the bodies solemnly.

  “Ugh, those are just creepy.” She said, wrinkling her nose.

  “I agree. Definitely nightmare-inducing. We probably shouldn’t sleep alone tonight.”

  “How very forward of you, Lieutenant.” Nata replied with a grin.

  “Oh God, I’m sorry; I didn’t realise how that sounded…”

  “Don’t worry, Alenko. I’m just teasing you.”

  “You’re making a habit of that, Commander.”

  “You’re a good sport for letting me.”

  “Maybe I just like your attention.” Nata bit her lip as she smiled and turned her face to hide the blush that she felt blooming.

  “Hey.” Daniel said to get their attention. “There’re some survivors in there; scientists who helped with the dig. They said that the beacon was moved to the spaceport before shit went down. So that’s where we’re headed.”

  “Aye aye.” Nata replied. They started following Ashley again when the sound of a single gunshot reverberated from the direction they were going to. “Just one?” She asked quietly, and they all looked at each other, then quickened their pace, and they were soon at a more built up area, which looked like a station. They went up a ramp to a platform and saw a body lying in the middle.

  “Shit, it’s Nihlus.” Daniel said.

  “Why _do_ you know a turian Spectre?” Ashley asked.

  “He was helping us with the...” Kaidan told her, but was interrupted.

  “Something’s moving behind those crates!” Ashley shouted, and they all pulled out their weapons.

  “Please don’t shoot me!” A voice said. “I’m one of you; I’m human!”

  “Come out then.” Daniel said, and the owner of the voice stood up.

  “You’re lucky we didn’t just shoot!” Nata scolded the man.

  “More’s to the point, what are you doing skulking around back there?”

  “I-I was hiding!” He said, visibly cowering. “My name’s Powell and… I saw what happened to the turian.”

  “Care to elaborate?” Daniel prodded.

  “The other one shot him. He got here first… and your friend relaxed around him. I think they knew each other; he called him ‘Saren’.”

  “Saren?” Nata asked, her mouth suddenly going dry.

  “Yeah, I’m sure it was.” Powell continued. “Saren killed him. Shot him right in the back. I’m lucky he didn’t see me behind the crates. I’d been there behind the attack, you see; catching a nap…”

  “Well your laziness saved your life.” Ashley said through gritted teeth.

  “It would really help us if you can remember anything else?” Nata asked gently.

  “He hopped on a cargo train to the other platform, where the beacon is. I swear, that’s all I know.” He told them.

  “Thank you, Powell. I guess that’s where we’re headed too.”

***

  After fighting through tens of geth and strange human-husks, and having to race to diffuse bombs that had been set, they found the beacon. Daniel stood to one side to concentrate on his conversation with Anderson while Kaidan and Ashley chatted about the beacon. Nata drifted in and out of each conversation as she stood in the middle, with her back to the beacon.

  “Normandy, the beacon is secure…” Daniel was saying to her left.

  “This is amazing! Actual working prothean technology…” Kaidan exclaimed to her right.

  “But what do we do about Nihlus and Jenkins?” She tuned into the other conversation before returning to the one to her left.

  “It wasn’t doing that glowing thing before…” Williams said with a frown.

  “Something must have activated it…” Kaidan muttered, taking a step towards it to get a better look, which seemed to trigger some sort of gravity field as it started to pull him towards it.

  Without thinking, Nata leapt to push him out of the way, except that meant that she instead was now being pulled towards the ancient machine of unknown purpose. She had no time to register any emotion at all before she was paralysed, rendered utterly helpless as she was lifted into the air. She heard shouts but couldn’t make out who or what it was, as in that moment the pain set in; it was like multiple red hot pokers being shoved through her skull and into her convulsing brain. Each one spewed colours and images that made no sense to her, like an agony-induced kaleidoscope. Furthermore, she could feel increasing pressure in her head and some part of her was sure that the purpose of its crescendo was to explode her head from the inside out. And at that point, she was starting to wish for it; but instead she welcomed the empty feeling when everything suddenly dissipated, sending her freefalling into blissful darkness.

 

_“All systems go, the sun hasn't died. Deep in my bones, straight from inside. I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones, enough to make my systems blow. Welcome to the new age.”_


End file.
